I have lost my voice. I don’t mean I have a sexy hoarse whisper or that it’s cracking and starting to go; it has really left me. Mr Changmoh is in a state of excitement at having a new, compliant, quiet wife but, I have to say, I am slightly less pleased.
Instead of trying to speak, which is exhausting, I have got to grips with whispering. The only thing that’s vaguely amusing about talking in constant hushed tones is that after about a minute, people start whispering back. Whispering is highly contagious, it seems.
I am sucking my way through the delicious and deliciously retro tin of menthol pastels (above) and choosing my strained words carefully. I now no longer talk when I needn’t. It’s altogether most unlike me!
Please share your best tips to restore me with the power of speech – old wives’ tales to weird and wacky to practical, I will give anything a go!